1.3.18

My love-hate relationship with dating.


Dating. Who's doing it and what do you think of it? I am currently dating, and I must say; I have a love-hate relationship with it if I'm truly honest with you. I LOVE when you're two or three dates in, but I get SO nervous before a first date, no matter how well I know the guy.

I over think everything, so I worry about EVERYTHING before I meet someone. I come across as very confident and approachable but I actually really suffer from nerves in situations where I have to put myself out there. Anyone else with me on this? I can chat utter shite on Instastories, be the loudest in the room at an event but put me in front of people on a panel, make me do public speaking or send me on a first date, and I'm a nervous wreck!

I am 32 this year, and I have yet to go into detail about my love life here on the blog. To be honest with you all, fashion was my primary focus here for years but as time's gone on; my confidence with writing has grown, and I love sharing more of the lifestyle-type posts with you all. I am really open, and I don't have much of a filter when I'm chatting away on Twitter or Instagram; SO why shouldn't I be more like that here on the old blog?





So here we go... here's my dating history eek!

I haven't had the best love life. I had a few, short relationships at school but that was it. Lots of snogs and fumbles (don't fancy being too graphic seeing as my Mum reads my blog) but nothing long term. I was fortunate and privileged to go to a boarding school from the ages of 13-18, and I loved it, but I was pretty much single for the whole time. I had flings with guys, but apart from being scarily obsessed with a guy there for, I'd say five years...I never really felt like any of the guys were my type. I moved to London when I was 18 and BOOM this was more like it! Guys from different countries, guys from different backgrounds, guys who weren't just public school toffs... I was like a kid in a candy shop!

In my first week of Uni, I fell for a guy in my Halls of Residence. I met him in a lift, invited myself into one of his parties later that week, and we instantly hit it off. We became best friends immediately, went out with each other and dated for a while (I think it was a year?). Fast forward to 2018, and you might know the guy...he's still my best mate and he is called Bob. Bobbi is now a fully-fledged homosexual hahaha. I know what you're thinking, and no I didn't turn him gay. I knew he was Bi when we got together, but I actually helped him to come out when we broke up, and I love him with all of my heart. Bob is THE best person I have ever met, and I am so glad he's my best friend.

After Bob, I met a guy through a friend.  I fell in love with him, dated him on and off for years and then got into a relationship with him for approx 3 1/2 years. We broke up but continued to date/sleep together for years after and I'd say he was the first guy I've truly loved. I then dated different guys on and off after him (some great dates, some were awful, maybe I need to write a post on all my dating fails?) before meeting someone in 2015. I don't feel much like talking about this guy if I'm honest with you...but let's just say, I'm glad that's over with LOL.

It's 2018, and after a few nice but not-quite-right-dates as well as DISATEROUS dates since my ex, I am back feeling confident and enjoying the dating scene again, kind of.

Dating in London is tough work. Tinder and dating apps are great, and they've lead me to date some brilliant guys, but does anyone else feel like the guys/girls in London don't like to settle? I feel like because there is SO much choice here, the guys are always on the lookout for the next best thing. I have met plenty of guys over the last few years, but they've all been too young, too fucking moronic or too much of a player. I seem to have a sign above my head that says "Wankers Welcome", and that has slowly worn me down I must say!




It's not all doom and gloom guys.

I LOVE when you've had a successful first date, and you're on your way home, and you can't stop thinking about them. I like to ask my uber driver to put Magic on and look lustfully out the window like I'm in some bloody rom-com. I love when one of my faves like George Micheal comes on, and I well up and start planning my commute from my house to his...pahaha hahaha.

I love/hate the whole texting thing. My entire face lights up when the guy I like texts. I stick to imessage where possible because it is not healthy how much I check the 'read' status on WhatsApp after texting a boy I like. Stick to imessage, and you've only got to battle with watching that text bubble appear and disappear until they finally press 'send'.

I also love that online dating can lead you to meet people you wouldn't typically meet in your normal day to day life. I was stuck on meeting guys that I was getting to know via my social media lifestyle and I quickly realised this wasn't how I wanted to meet someone. Online dating does open you up to a lot more people, serious about dating and I would much prefer to meet someone like this/via a friend. Instagram is not tinder, and I have to keep reminding myself of that!

I'm not so ready to talk about where I'm at right now but let's just say I'm happily dating and I'm enjoying myself! Let's see where it goes, all I know is that I'm definitely up for finding love again. I'm surrounded by a lot of friends who are married, and in love and hell, I want that for myself.





1. Top - Mango Violeta, similar here, & here | 2. Skirt - Elvi (only size 20 left here), similar here | 3. T-Shirt Bra | 4. Faux Leather Jacket | 5. Tights | 6. Ankle Boots, (half sizes available!) | 7. Scarf 

What does everyone else think of dating? Do you love or hate it? I also have quite a bit to say on dating as a plus size woman and I'd also like to share my tips for dressing on a first date.
Let me know on my socials or in the comments below if you'd like to see these two posts from me.


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